How Great is Our God

"Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulnes to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, LORD, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light." -Psalm 36:4-9



It's been a while since I've taken the time to share, but let me reassure you, it's not that there's little to be said. Every day there are new things to praise God for, and see as a direct providence from His almighty hand.

One of the blessings being our annual Thanksgiving celebration. Over 100 of us gathered together in the dining hall to share in a "family-style" meal. Logistically, It's kind of tricky to get this many people together and seated in one building. The tables were set within a giant U shape which created the illusion of an intimate meal. Though it was a tight squeeze, we managed well and were well-fed. There was so much abundance that our leftovers carried through 3 or 4 days after! (Above photo shows some of the female residents after the Thanksgiving meal)




Also, in the month of November we had the opportunity to serve at a nearby ministry, Camp Spofford. Though some were far from thrilled to have to spend 8 hours of their Saturday raking leaves outside, it ended up being a good time of bonding between staff and residents. According to one of the maintenance guys at Spofford, what we did with fifty or so people, they otherwise would have had to accomplish with two. The weather was nice enough so that we were able to rake above and beyond what they had asked of us. I personally was blessed by the attitude with which many worked. At some point in the day it seemed as though the "I can't believe we have to do this" mentality that can sometimes arise in mandatory events, switched into a "let's make the most of it" one. That switch really made the difference.

Continuing with the theme of blessings, I've got many of my own to praise God for. The Mono has cleared up significantly, and though I have not been to the doctor since, I've been met with increasing strength. I've had other symptoms that have been troubling like painful, swollen knees, but thankfully the pain tends to come and go. As I write, I've had a good two-week stretch with hardly any knee pain! Also, many of you were faithfully praying for me in the area of finances. There was a definite scare back at the end of September where I thought I'd have to leave before my commitment ends in January. Around that time, I was prayerfully seeking God's wisdom and direction. I was met with the phrase "Trust." over and over again. What a blessing it is to be writing this in retrospect, when I remember how hopeless I felt. My money was gone, my health was failing, and I felt torn because the last thing I wanted to do was leave. I praise Him for being my rock during that uncertain time... and for providing for my every need!

Many of you are aware that my commitment here ends January 12th. I decided, through prayer and godly counsel, to not recommitment for another year. As I write this to you though, I feel the strong urgency to ask for your prayers for me in these last 4 or 5 weeks at His Mansion. While I was offered my old job back at Forever 21 in CT, and a place to live, I'd be lying to tell you that I have a complete sense of peace about this. I don't. A big part of my heart would like to stay... and wonders if my decision to leave is God's will... OR evidence of my lack of faith. HE supplied when my money ran out... HE supplied when my strength wasn't there... HE can also make it possible for me financially to stay longer. Please pray that the Lord would make His will for my next step very clear, and that I will walk forth in faith!

Thank you all for your prayers & support!
May He bless you this Christmas season with fresh reminders of His majesty.

Melissa

You Are My Hiding Place.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philipians 4:6-8



The past month has been a whirlwind to say the least! From celebrating the graduation of 9 residents, to the unveiling of the new men's dorm, to my discovering that I have mono, and welcoming in another large group of new residents, you could say things have been keeping us all on our toes.

To be completely honest, I'm not quite sure what more to say than what has already been said in my personal journal entries. I've decided to share some with you as it will make blogging at this point a whole lot easier! :)

9-21-10
...it is fitting, that in times of my own physical strength being stripped of me, my tendency to "do! do! do!" defteated by my own body's inability to do anything but rest, that you would also call me closer to you Lord. This is a lesson I can grow from. This trial, a call to deeper perseverance and a greater dependence on you, than on self. When James calls the Jewish Christians to 'Count it all joy... when you meet trials of various kinds", it is not out of a massechistic viewpoint that he speaks. He says this because even trials have been orchestrated by God for our good. In trials, the testing of faith leads to Steadfastness. Steadfastness to perfection and completion, that we might one day be lacking nothing (James 1:2-4). Therefore, without trials, we run the danger of becoming complacent. Without the trial of having no strength, I run the risk of attempting to do all by my own power. Without the trial of having little left of my finances, I run the risk of a life based on a false-sense of security.



9-23-10

Heavenly Father,

my body is weak again today, and yet I'm reminded that you are well aware. You know me more than I know myself... You know what choices I'll make and even have purpose in these things that seem to be results of poor self-care. There is a certain confidence I can have that no matter what I do or don't do, I have been chosen and predestined by you. My sainthood can not be stripped of me... and wether I'm weak and can not accomplish much, or I'm full of energy and am 'productive" in the sight of others, your love for me doesn't change.

Be Thou My Vision

"God's work, done God's way, will not lack God's supply." -Hudson Taylor

With only 4 months left before my commitment as a mentor ends, I've been praying for God's direction as to what to do. It's funny how being here as a mentor provides a sweet security that is far unlike positions I've held in the past. There is a certain comfort in being in an environment that is focused on God and knowing Him more. While there may be few material comforts to draw security and a sense of stability, the focus here is grounded on God's word, the only unshakable foundation.

A Prayer Request
As much as I hate to admit it, finances continue to be an issue for me and I have been seeking the Lord's answer as to what to do about it. I have approximately $400 per month in bills and I am currently receiving $125 per month in support. That has left me with $275 per month that I've had to pay, and will soon run out of savings to cover it. If it is indeed God's will for me to stay, I'm going to have to make the hard decision of wether or not to sell my car. Please join me in praying over this as it will require me a lot of "running around" to go through the process of selling. Not exactly my idea of a great use of free time! :)

The need for female mentors remains great and it is hard for me to imagine myself in another position. There is a reason why in my management positions before coming here didn't quite feel "right". God has gifted me with mercy and compassion that apparently translates well in a place like this. One of the women recently shared with me how valuable a listening ear really is to her and how growing up no one ever was around for her. Here, she is listened to and is working on trusting the newness of quality relationships.

Thank you for praying me and everyone here at His Mansion. We will especially need your prayers over the next couple of weeks as we have our fall intake. We will have a record number of residents in the program, some 40-50 men and women. Please pray that the adjustment goes well for all and that the staff does not burn out (We have been short-handed and in the process have all had to take on more responsibilities).

Blessings,
Melissa

His glory appears.

Sometimes I take for granted the richness of this season of my life. Though financially poor, having abnormal amounts of responsibility for someone my age, and less free time than when I worked a full time job as a full-time student, I'm finding a greater sense of peace than I really "should" have. It baffles me that someone who has struggled with anxiety for years, could even know an emotion like peace.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7


I've found that as a Mentor, that this peace of God really does surpass understanding. Not once have I "felt" equipped in the responsibilities that I have in this ministry, but as I've leaned upon the Lord in these times, I've not only been met with peace, but have been equipped for more than I could ask or imagine.

Inner Healing
One of these times of stretching has been in assistant teaching the women's Inner Healing class.

Inner Healing is undoubtedly a challenging class. Issues like rejection, grieving, and forgiveness are just few of the topics that are covered and applied to each resident's life. Memories that have been supressed through years of drug or substance abuse often resurface during this time. I've found it especially difficult to hear stories much more traumatic than I've ever experienced. It is no wonder that these women turned to drugs and destructive relationships as ways of coping with years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

The Body Image exercise (see photo) is introduced in this class as a way to confront the lies that have culminated over the years. The process starts by the resident having an outline of their body traced on paper. Next, they are given time to write down things they believe about themselves, others, and God. Common lies I've seen in this process often relate to one's external appearance. Lies like, "I'm ugly", "I'm not valuable unless I lose weight", and "My ___ is/are too big." Other lies I've seen have more to do with that person's character and inner being. Lies like "I'm not good enough", "I'm not worth anyone's time", and "I'll always be a junkie". These lies are difficult to see on paper and sometimes harder to let go of. Lies about God often surface that are more based on one's experience with other authority figures, than on the actual character of God. "I'm a disappointment to God", "God doesn't care about me", "God doesn't want me to be happy" are all lies that have surfaced amongst these women.

Thankfully, there is a good side to this exercise! There is a reason these beliefs are referred to as lies... for the truth is waiting to be revealed once the women are ready and able to receive it. This part of the exercise is when we (the instructors) get to sit back and let the Lord do the work. The women are encouraged to take their time as they pray and wait for the Lord to bring to mind the corresponding truths to each lie. Oftentimes scriptures come to mind and take on new meaning for them as they see how it applies to them. It is a beautiful, tear-provoking thing to see the lie crossed out and replaced with something that has the power to heal their hearts and draw them closer to Christ.

Worship
In my time as a resident, the Lord began to reveal something deeply hidden under the years of appearance-based obsession and worry. He began to reveal a heart that loved to worship Him, both in song and in silence. As a mentor, I've been give the amazing privelage to lead the congregation in worship both on Sunday mornings once a month and in one of our daily services known as "Prayer & share".

It has been both a delight and a challenge to be stretched in this new way. Though I've enjoyed singing and playing the guitar for years, it has been more of a private hobby than anything that would put me in the path of public scrutiny. There have been a few times since I began this process that I've almost come to the point of quitting-thinking "I'm not good enough to do this" and fearing what others were thinking of me.


Thankfully, the Spirit gives grace.

Around the time of one of my frustrated near-surrenders, I was met with a quote by C.H Spurgeon. "We shall never find happines by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are that gives rest to the soul." How true I've found this to be, as oftentimes when I want to give up it's because my focus is on me! When I'm able to re-center on the very reason I worship, God himself, it is then that I'm able to truly worship and to let go of my fears of insufficiency.

Prayer Requests
I'm grateful to those of you who have already interceded for me, and would appreciate the continued prayers. Days are long, money is tight, and I'm finding the greatest struggles to be those related to my physical body as well as my finances. I've been attempting to take more care of myself in getting more rest in my off-time, and as I write this, have taken a few days of vacation time to catch up on sleep and rejuvenation. As far as finances are concerned, I'm praying for the Lord to meet the remaining month-t0-month needs that I have as I serve in this ministry.

Well, that's all I have to report for now. Thank you for reading and thank you for your prayers!

By grace alone.

What better way to celebrate Independence Day, than to share of the freedom that is being obtained through the blood of Jesus Christ on our little hill in NH.

Since my last newsletter, we've welcomed seven new women into the induction phase of the program. Often a difficult transition, it is common for some to "opt out" of the program during this time. The good news is that all seven women in this group have not only successfully made it through the 30-day induction period, they've committed to their healing by transitioning into the first phase of the program. I've been blessed to watch that through the daily challenges, a couple of the women specifically exhibit a greater desire for change than to give up.

Speaking of changes, the Lord has provided more opportunities for me to be stretched in recent weeks as well. I've been asked to assist in teaching the women's inner healing class for phase two as well as to be one of the sunday morning worship team leaders. I haven't felt equipped for either responsibility, but have drawn strength from the Lord as I've agreed to be stretched in both areas.

Inner Healing is what I call the "meat and potatoes" of the healing journey at His Mansion. It is here where the women are pushed to get deep and uncover the wounds from their past. It is also often the first time difficult memories are uncovered, and given opportunity to be drawn into the forefront of the mind. The goal of Inner Healing is for these things to be uncovered, as many traumatic experiences have led to addictions and destructive lifestyles. Many of these traumatic experiences have deeply-implanted lies into the minds of these women, that cause them to feel worthless, unloved, and insignificant.

As an instructor, I've noticed a marked change in how this role affects me as a mentor. I've been blessed with the chance to better connect with the women in this phase, and yet with that I've seemed to carry a greater emotional burden for them. Though my physical energy level has decreased significantly as a result, I feel as though the depth of relationship being formed with them is worth every minute.