"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
I've found that as a Mentor, that this peace of God really does surpass understanding. Not once have I "felt" equipped in the responsibilities that I have in this ministry, but as I've leaned upon the Lord in these times, I've not only been met with peace, but have been equipped for more than I could ask or imagine.
Inner Healing
One of these times of stretching has been in assistant teaching the women's Inner Healing class.
Inner Healing is undoubtedly a challenging class. Issues like rejection, grieving, and forgiveness are just few of the topics that are covered and applied to each resident's life. Memories that have been supressed through years of drug or substance abuse often resurface during this time. I've found it especially difficult to hear stories much more traumatic than I've ever experienced. It is no wonder that these women turned to drugs and destructive relationships as ways of coping with years of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.
The Body Image exercise (see photo) is introduced in this class as a way to confront the lies that have culminated over the years. The process starts by the resident having an outline of their body traced on paper. Next, they are given time to write down things they believe about themselves, others, and God. Common lies I've seen in this process often relate to one's external appearance. Lies like, "I'm ugly", "I'm not valuable unless I lose weight", and "My ___ is/are too big." Other lies I've seen have more to do with that person's character and inner being. Lies like "I'm not good enough", "I'm not worth anyone's time", and "I'll always be a junkie". These lies are difficult to see on paper and sometimes harder to let go of. Lies about God often surface that are more based on one's experience with other authority figures, than on the actual character of God. "I'm a disappointment to God", "God doesn't care about me", "God doesn't want me to be happy" are all lies that have surfaced amongst these women.
Thankfully, there is a good side to this exercise! There is a reason these beliefs are referred to as lies... for the truth is waiting to be revealed once the women are ready and able to receive it. This part of the exercise is when we (the instructors) get to sit back and let the Lord do the work. The women are encouraged to take their time as they pray and wait for the Lord to bring to mind the corresponding truths to each lie. Oftentimes scriptures come to mind and take on new meaning for them as they see how it applies to them. It is a beautiful, tear-provoking thing to see the lie crossed out and replaced with something that has the power to heal their hearts and draw them closer to Christ.
Worship
In my time as a resident, the Lord began to reveal something deeply hidden under the years of appearance-based obsession and worry. He began to reveal a heart that loved to worship Him, both in song and in silence. As a mentor, I've been give the amazing privelage to lead the congregation in worship both on Sunday mornings once a month and in one of our daily services known as "Prayer & share".
It has been both a delight and a challenge to be stretched in this new way. Though I've enjoyed singing and playing the guitar for years, it has been more of a private hobby than anything that would put me in the path of public scrutiny. There have been a few times since I began this process that I've almost come to the point of quitting-thinking "I'm not good enough to do this" and fearing what others were thinking of me.
Thankfully, the Spirit gives grace.
Around the time of one of my frustrated near-surrenders, I was met with a quote by C.H Spurgeon. "We shall never find happines by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are that gives rest to the soul." How true I've found this to be, as oftentimes when I want to give up it's because my focus is on me! When I'm able to re-center on the very reason I worship, God himself, it is then that I'm able to truly worship and to let go of my fears of insufficiency.
Prayer Requests
I'm grateful to those of you who have already interceded for me, and would appreciate the continued prayers. Days are long, money is tight, and I'm finding the greatest struggles to be those related to my physical body as well as my finances. I've been attempting to take more care of myself in getting more rest in my off-time, and as I write this, have taken a few days of vacation time to catch up on sleep and rejuvenation. As far as finances are concerned, I'm praying for the Lord to meet the remaining month-t0-month needs that I have as I serve in this ministry.
Well, that's all I have to report for now. Thank you for reading and thank you for your prayers!
